I put my hands up and confess that postnatally I fall into the category of those that try and 'do too much too soon'. I can recognise in others the benefit of just taking it slow, after all, there's no rush …but do I take the advice myself? Nope.
After the birth of my first baby there was a definite rush to get back to normality, maybe I had the slight worry that perhaps I never would. And after the birth of my son I was equally guilty. There was no ‘sleep when the baby sleeps’ - I was far too busy up a ladder painting, as we had just had a loft conversion and the house still looked like a building site. I’m sure there is a photo somewhere of me sanding the walls down, probably whilst wearing mascara, the day after Bax was born!
So my confessions are out, I can now feel at ease I’m not pretending to be someone I’m not. But having said all that, I can absolutely appreciate the need to take your foot off the pedal and take it easy. I met up with local postnatal doula Sarah Tessier to chat about birth and postnatal care over a coffee. Sarah puts together a great case why she believes every mother deserves to have a Mothermoon!!!
Here are Sarah’s top 10 tips to have a great, healing postnatal period (guess what?... no sanding or painting involved!) and if you are wondering what on earth is a Mothernoon is … keep reading!
A mothermoon is the time for you to nurture and be nurtured, to nourish and be nourished. It’s a time for you to rest and recover so that you can focus on bonding with your baby and begin to find your way as a new mother.
Below are my top tips for planning your mothermoon and looking after yourself in those precious early days and weeks.
1. Have a plan.
It’s common to write a birth plan outlining what’s important to you, what you want and don’t want so that you’re more prepared to handle whatever your baby’s birth throws your way. The same should go for the postnatal period. Think about things like what help you might need around the house, what emotional support you might need, how you’ll handle visitors and how you’ll make sure you’ve got lots of nutritious food to eat. Talk about it with your partner, write it down and share your wishes with your friends and family so they know how they can help.
2. Stock the fridge.
Making sure you’re eating plenty of nourishing food and drinking plenty of fluids is important and surprisingly tricky to do with a newborn to look after. There are lots of ways to plan to make sure you’re getting both of these things and not just living on toast, biscuits and cups of lukewarm tea. Batch cook some meals that you can store in the freezer and just pop in the oven to reheat. If you’re having a baby shower or mother blessing, instead of muslins and baby grows, suggest that people gift you with a dish that can go in the freezer, vouchers that you can use for meal delivery or organise a meal train.
3. Gather your village.
Lots of cultures around the world have customs that are focused on supporting new mothers. Family and friends come together to support a new mum and her family so she can focus on resting, recovering and getting to know her new baby. Whether it’s help from family, friends or a postnatal doula, gather your village and don’t be afraid to ask for help.
4. Pull up the drawbridge.
It can be so tempting to want to show off your gorgeous baby to everyone once they arrive, but think about limiting visitors in the early days. When you do have visitors, stay in your pyjamas, you’ll be less likely to play hostess. Keep visits short and sweet and have a rule that anyone who does come by has to do something to help out. They should also get their own tea and get you a cup too!
5. Be kind to your body.
Your body goes through an incredible transformation over the nine months that you grow your baby. Once you’ve done the amazing work of giving birth, your body changes once again. Think night sweats, swollen boobs and a roller coaster of emotions. Knowing what’s coming and how to cope with these things can make it all a bit easier to deal with. Your body has been through alot, take it easy and be kind to it and to yourself.
6. From womb to world.
A mothermoon can help to recreate some of what life was like in your womb and ease your baby’s transition into the world. Spending time in a calm, quiet environment with few distractions and lots of time spent skin to skin allows you to get to know this little person and can help them feel safe, secure and more settled.
7. Plan nourishing things for yourself.
You need to look after yourself in order to look after your baby. Doing things for yourself to fill your cup can make a big difference to your well-being. It could be a lovely treat like a postnatal massage or closing the bones treatment or as simple as having a nap, a warm bath or having someone hold your baby while you drink a cup of tea while it’s still hot.
8. Emotional support.
Just because you have a plan, doesn’t mean that things will be easy or go smoothly. You don’t know what you’ll find challenging or what unexpected situations will come up but having a plan in place will help you to weather the challenges when they do come up.
9. You partners role.
The arrival of a baby is equally life-changing to for partners. If you have a partner, talk about how you want them to spend their time while on parental leave and what support do they need. Also think about how this might all change once they go back to work.
10. Gather your village and think in concentric circles.
Who do you want in your innermost circle. Who are the people you are most comfortable with seeing you at your most vulnerable and potentially partially clothed most of the time if you’re breastfeeding. As you move outwards think about how others can help with things like errands, looking after older children, holding your baby so you can do something for yourself.
No two women or babies experience the postnatal period in the same way but by having an idea of what to expect, you can begin to think about what support you might need. Some things can be planned for while others are unknown until after your baby arrives. Having a plan will help you feel more prepared and help you have the start to motherhood that you deserve!
After baby number three arrives I will be hoping to have a bit of a Mothermoon...maybe- kids I hope you are reading this!?...they are 2yrs & 4yrs so unlikely! But, I will be taking the time to try to look after myself as much as possible, and accepting any help offered!
Download Sarah's postnatal plan template here
To find out more about Sarah and her postnatal doula services and workshops: www.sarahtessier.com
Instagram: @sarahtessierdoula Facebook: Sarah Tessier Postnatal Doula
